She kept a journal about her battle from start to finish, and as I read it, it became clear that she was a fighter and someone who truly affected all of those around her. I was impressed with her struggle and her ability to point out in the midst of it all what was important to her.
As I read her journal, I cried... a lot... I'm rather emotional, but I hadn't seen this woman for nearly 10 years so it was surprising to me that I felt this attached to the situation. But her perspective on things was what did that to me.
I realized through all of this that so often I don't really LIVE my life... I just go through it. I let small things get in my way of truly enjoying life. I let myself get flustered easily. I don't treat myself the way I should. I worry/struggle with material things. And I don't delight in the way I should with everyday things.
So, I made a resolution to myself... not a New Year's resolution because that just seems to corny for this. The resolution is this:
- To see past the small things - and not get flustered easily
- To treat myself the way I should (make exercise, eating right, sleep, time with my husband and friends, and reading the Bible
- To make time for the things important to me... (similar to above, but include going to church regularly)
- To take pleasure in things around me
- To treat every day as a gift and try to live in the moment more
For those of you that want a kick in the pants and some perspective on your own life... feel free to visit her journal, http://www.caringbridge.or
31 is awfully young to leave this earth, but if God called me home, I would want to know that I affected people the way she did.